Tidings of Mayhem
by Fleur the First
Summary: Lily has an unexpected Christmas present for James, but she's not very hopeful he'll be happy about her surprise pregnancy. At least Sirius is there to help her out, right?


**Author's Notes:** I know you all were just dying for a Christmas story (or not, but what do I care?) so you've got one. Merry Christmas, everybody!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in this little number so please don't sue me and take away all my Christmas presents. That is all.

***

"Damn it!"

Damn, damn and double damn, actually. 

Lily Evans Potter let loose a long, low moan. She sunk down into a crouching position against the wall and held her head in her hands. For a moment she thought she was going to cry, but after a few deep breaths she felt her self-control returning. She stood up and gave her wand, which was sitting on the kitchen table, the dirtiest look she could muster. "This is entirely your fault, you know."

The wand didn't seem to care much; it ignored her insults and continued to stare back at her innocently. Of course, the fact that she thought it was staring at her was nearly enough to make her lose her control once more.

Lily was pregnant. Two months pregnant, if she was counting right. A simple wave of her wand had confirmed her worst fears, and now she would have to tell James. For a moment she considered never telling her husband about the baby she carried. True, he might notice eventually, but James could be incredibly ignorant at times and she might be able to convince him she was just bloated up to the seventh month. "Who am I kidding?" Lily asked herself aloud. "If he didn't realize somebody else would."

A knock at the door interrupted Lily's monologue. She swept her hair back behind her ears, ignoring it as the curls bounced stubbornly back into her face. A quick glance outside the door confirmed Sirius as the visitor. The wards weren't alerting her to any danger and with only a little hesitance she opened the door. After all, it wasn't likely she would lose her cool in front of Sirius Black, of all people.

          "How's my favorite redhead?" Sirius said in lieu of greeting as he entered into the main hall and began brushing the snow off his jacket.

Lily burst into loud, watery tears as she dove into Sirius' arms. 

***

Sirius was, to say the least, absolutely mystified as to why Lily was clinging onto him so tightly. "There, there," he said, patting her gently on the back. "I know that the holidays are a bit stressful, but James really does love you. I can't betray him like this, Lil." His words of reassurance only made Lily cry harder and tighten her grip on him.

          "James is going to hate me!" she wailed pitifully.

          "Lily, he never has to know about this moment of weakness. I won't say anything. You two just get it to work and I'll keep my mouth as tight as McGonagall's bun."

Frustrated, Lily disentangled herself from Sirius. "I don't want to shag you, you big oaf! Shagging is what got me into trouble in the first place!"

          "Oh." Sirius eyed the door longingly. "That's very nice. Do you want to elaborate, or should I just bolt?"

Lily rubbed at the tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone crazy on you. I suppose it's the hormones or something. Come sit down at the table and have some tea while I explain." Sirius did so, but only after one last longing look at the door.

When they were settled Lily broke the news to Sirius. "That's wonderful!" he exclaimed jovially. "I'm going to be a godfather! This will be excellent." His smile faltered as he took in Lily's unhappy face. "Won't it?"

Lily began to twirl her hair nervously. "Sirius, I can't have a _baby_. James and I are so young, and for Merlin's sake, there's a _war_ going on outside! James is an Auror, that's not a particularly safe job nowadays."

          "And you don't think a Charms Creator has a dangerous life?" Sirius asked her, causing her to laugh.

          "Aside from the occasional bits of mayhem…no, I don't." She took a sip of her tea and her eyes welled up with tears that she stubbornly held at bay. "What am I going to do?"

          "Tell James, for one thing," Sirius said.

          "I can't do that! He's been so busy lately and this will put so much stress on him. I mean, even after he gets over the initial anger—"

          "What do you mean 'anger'?" Sirius interrupted. "James is going to be thrilled! He loves kids. Well, as long as they aren't messing with his brooms." 

Lily shook her head sadly. "We've talked about this before. We were going to wait until after the war. We thought we had it taken care of. Sirius, I don't even know how I managed to _get_ pregnant."

Sniggering, Sirius held up his hands in a puppet-esque manner. "Lily," his left hand said to the right. "I luuuurve you so much." He held up the other hand. "James, you are my heart, my soul, my beloved! Make love to me!" 

And then the puppets began to do things that made Lily blush. "Stop it!" she finally shouted. "You know perfectly well that's not what I mean. Don't make me regret asking you for help."

          "Why would you even think about regretting time spent in my company?" he asked her. 

          "Please, don't even let me go there." Lily put her hand on Sirius' arm. "It's not that I think you're crazy, Sirius…yeah, actually, I do." 

          "That's my girl!" Sirius said laughing. "Now let's work out how we're going to give Prongs his Christmas surprise."

***

The two weeks until Christmas Eve seemed to pass by in a blink of an eye. Lily grew more nervous and agitated as each day went by, and it didn't help matters that she was constantly hovering over the toilet, losing whatever food she'd been able to keep down. She knew that it was just pregnancy working its little miracles, but a part of her wondered if it was nerves.

She hadn't told anybody else about the baby besides Sirius. She wanted to tell her parents very badly, but Petunia had just announced her own pregnancy and would immediately decide that Lily had gotten knocked up just to spite her. And that was phrasing it kindly. Lily wasn't ready to deal with that. All she wanted to do was curl up in a pair of Muggle sweats and sleep until the baby came. At least she wouldn't have to watch herself get fat.

More than once she had almost slipped and told Remus about the baby. She knew his advice would be a bit more levelheaded than Sirius', but she felt guilty for having told anybody before she'd actually admitted it to James.

What if he didn't want it? The thought grabbed at Lily like an icy hand on a chilly autumn day. She didn't know what she would do if James was genuinely opposed to having this baby. The more rational part of her brain was screaming at her that James would never be unhappy about having a child with her, but a smaller, more sinister voice was telling her just the opposite. It didn't help matters that James was always at work. She'd barely seen him over the last fortnight, and the fact that she avoided him while he was home only made the separation harder.

Tonight would be the night, however. She could not ask for a more perfect atmosphere. Snow had covered their little cottage like a woolen blanket, engulfing everything nearby. Icicles hung on the trees like tiny ornaments, and the tree they had found time to decorate together was cheerful and bright. She wore one of her nicest robes, a green one that fell only to her ankles but hugged everything in just the right places. That wouldn't last long, Lily thought to herself as she finished dressing.

James arrived home at around seven. He looked exhausted but upon setting eyes on Lily he seemed to perk up considerably. He looked her up and down and came over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "All this just for me?" he asked. "I was starting to think you didn't love me anymore."

          "You and Sirius both," Lily responded dryly. James didn't ask what she meant, though, for if it concerned Sirius it was bound to be more confusing than his tired mind could handle.

          "Oh, Evans," James sighed, reverting back to the surnames they had called each other by long ago. "I just don't think I can take anymore surprises! Work was hideous today, I thought I'd have to gauge my eyes out with a fork."

Lily briefly considered locking up all the silverware. She didn't want to see her husband die by eating utensil. Dear Merlin, this was so hard…

It occurred to James that Lily's eyes were rather watery. Almost as if she were going to…but no. Lily very rarely cried, and when she did, it was only when something incredibly awful happened.

          "Lily, is everything okay?" James asked as he placed a hand on the small of her back. 

          "Of course," she said stiffly. "Why wouldn't it be?"

          "Well, your eyes look kind of funny."

It was too much for poor, distressed Lily to handle. "You think I'm ugly!" 

It was too much for poor, distressed James to handle as well. "I don't! I swear it!" He looked at her pleadingly. "I think you're beautiful. You know that. Why are you acting so strangely?" Suddenly Lily remembered why she was acting so strangely and glassiness of her eyes was replaced with sudden anxiety.

          "I thought we'd eat some dinner, first," she said.

          "Before you act strangely?"

          "I'm not acting strangely."

          "Er…okay." James walked into the living room and plopped down onto the couch. Lily rolled her eyes at his wet shoes resting on the furniture, but didn't say anything about them. "By the way, I invited the gang over for drinks later."

Drinks? Lily though, only a tiny bit panicked. She couldn't drink. Pregnant women weren't supposed to, right? Was it any different if you were a witch? She cast a glance at James. Surely he would notice if she didn't drink anything. She would then be forced to reveal her secret in front of a roomful of people or lie and say she had joined a temperance society. No, that wouldn't do at all.

          "James?" Lily asked hesitantly as she walked over to the couch. He sat up to allow room for her and was a bit miffed when she pulled away from his waiting arms. 

          "Yes, Lily?" 

          "Well, I know that not everything in life is expected, but that doesn't mean it always has to end horribly. Don't you agree?"

James nodded. He had no idea where the conversation was going but he sure as hell didn't want to admit _that_.

          "I know that times aren't exactly the greatest. I know that we're still young. I also know that you've been extremely busy lately and I wish you could spend more time at home."

Laughing, James leaned over and kissed his wife. "Is that all you're worried about, me being away from home too much? Well, darling, fear not! We're getting a whole new squad in day after Boxing Day and then you'll get more than enough of me."

          "That's not it, James, though I'm happy to hear it." She paused and took one last look at her husband before she revealed the truth. "I'm going to have a baby."

Silence reigned supreme for a minute or two. To Lily if felt like an hour. Finally, James eyes stopped dilating and he remembered how to speak. "A what?"

          "A baby. You know, a little creature that looks kind of like a person."

          "Right."

Lily knew that now was the time to start crying, but oddly enough the tears would not come. She found herself totally devoid of grief. She realized that she wanted nothing more in the world then to have the baby she carried, and to have her husband want it just as much. "James," she said soothingly. "I know you're surprised, but you have to understand, I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean for a lot of stuff to happen in my life, but I've always been glad it did. Going to Hogwarts, overcoming my complete abhorrence for you…that all worked. This will, too. I'm not upset anymore. I was at first, but the more I think about it the more I want this." She took his hand and placed it gingerly on her stomach. "Do you?"

When James didn't answer immediately Lily got nervous. "Please tell me we're in this together. Please, James, I can't do it alone." 

The pleading tone to her voice must have awoken James from his stupor. "Lily, I—I'm sorry."

Lily's heart sank as if it had been hit with a torpedo. She pictured James leaving her, having to move back in with her parents and tell them the man she was hopelessly in love with didn't want her baby…

          "I'm sorry I wasn't here more. If I were, I mean…why were you scared to tell me? Why would you think I wouldn't want this?" His eyes shown with hurt and Lily felt her guilt mingling in with her fear.

          "Because it wasn't in our plans," she said softly.

          "Screw the plan! I don't care how young we are, Lily, we're going to have a baby!" A smile adorned his face when he said the last part and he grabbed Lily and held her tightly. "We're going to have a baby!" he repeated.

A weight seemed to have been lifted from Lily's shoulders. "Are you genuinely happy?"

          "Happy? I'm thrilled!" And then he kissed her again, but this time it was a bit less chaste than usual. Lily felt like a fool for ever having doubted her husband, but was so overcome with relief that the doubting had been for nothing that she didn't even care.

          "I can't wait to tell Sirius!" James said about ten minutes later (No, dear readers, you do not get to know what happened in those ten minutes. Everybody needs some privacy, after all.) "He's going to want to be the little guy's godfather." 

          "Um…" Lily looked up to the ceiling as if she were asking some greater power to forgive her. She could confess now that she'd already told Sirius, or she could just pretend that he knew nothing. "Neither can I!" she finally told him. "And what makes you think it won't be a girl?"

          "Because I'm a genius who just knows these sorts of things."

Lily rolled her eyes and leaned back against him. "Happy Christmas, James."


End file.
